the kiss of death on your door, that's what you get for taking home a whore
I've started writing poetry again, and it's quite strange- it's nothing like I've ever written.
Frankly, I find myself kind of veering in a direction I used to really loathe: complete free form with total disregard for any traditional rules.
That being said, I had another disappointing weekend with Boyfriend. He showed up 6 (6!!!) hours late, was completely lacking in romance (not that he is romantic), and I'd get a little more in depth, but that's the talk for late-night conversations with a close friend.
I just keep wondering why I stay with him- am I being a completely fake bitch because I like him for very superficial reasons, or, am I coming to terms with the fact that maybe a nation of divorce isn't such a bad thing: I've never been married, but I can't help but look at so many marriages forged on the basis of money and security and other superficial things...and notice that people stuck it out- divorce rates were quite low. Is that a product of a strict culture, the prying eyes of law, or religion meddling in private relationships? Or, is it the sign of people who forged a marriage much the way one would forge a business contract.
I will cook, clean, and birth if you work, earn, and don't beat the shit out of me. For ever.
Either way, I find myself "sticking it out" with Boyfriend for stupid reasons...and I find myself really wanting to leave him for stupid reasons.
I'm really tired, really upset, and really confused. If I were closer to Male Roommate's mother, I might give her a call and go to lunch or something. She's so sweet, but I think my musings would be completely lost on her.
ugh. Valentines Day creeps closer- and now I'm locked in to seeing St. Etienne...blech. Moreover, I have no way of avoiding the day, and I will be forced to be with Boyfriend.
What do I even get him? I'm stretched for money, right now...and I don't want to get him something stupid. I can't ignore it- I mean, we haven't talked about it.
I suppose I should call him or something. But, after this weekend, even the thought of his voice in my ear kind of makes my skin crawl.
Frankly, I find myself kind of veering in a direction I used to really loathe: complete free form with total disregard for any traditional rules.
That being said, I had another disappointing weekend with Boyfriend. He showed up 6 (6!!!) hours late, was completely lacking in romance (not that he is romantic), and I'd get a little more in depth, but that's the talk for late-night conversations with a close friend.
I just keep wondering why I stay with him- am I being a completely fake bitch because I like him for very superficial reasons, or, am I coming to terms with the fact that maybe a nation of divorce isn't such a bad thing: I've never been married, but I can't help but look at so many marriages forged on the basis of money and security and other superficial things...and notice that people stuck it out- divorce rates were quite low. Is that a product of a strict culture, the prying eyes of law, or religion meddling in private relationships? Or, is it the sign of people who forged a marriage much the way one would forge a business contract.
I will cook, clean, and birth if you work, earn, and don't beat the shit out of me. For ever.
Either way, I find myself "sticking it out" with Boyfriend for stupid reasons...and I find myself really wanting to leave him for stupid reasons.
I'm really tired, really upset, and really confused. If I were closer to Male Roommate's mother, I might give her a call and go to lunch or something. She's so sweet, but I think my musings would be completely lost on her.
ugh. Valentines Day creeps closer- and now I'm locked in to seeing St. Etienne...blech. Moreover, I have no way of avoiding the day, and I will be forced to be with Boyfriend.
What do I even get him? I'm stretched for money, right now...and I don't want to get him something stupid. I can't ignore it- I mean, we haven't talked about it.
I suppose I should call him or something. But, after this weekend, even the thought of his voice in my ear kind of makes my skin crawl.
posted by iconoclastical at 12:54 AM
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