Decisions, Decisions...
Today is one of those days where I look at Boyfriend and think I can't fucking stand you.
It's not that he's a bad person: I think the problem is that I'm a bitch. I suppose it just really really bothers me right down to my core that he hasn't learned the number one way to show that he cares: to spend time with me.
When I have Tuesday and Wednesday off (which is every week), I hop onto the public transportation system, and get to him at 11:30 on Tuesday. I have to leave at 11:30 on Thursday: this means, we have a total of 48 hours together.
20 hours= sleeping, because if he doesn't get 10 hours in, he can't function.
16 hours= working- and that's fine with me.
2 hours=his lunch break, but he watches tv
4 hours=his grooming time. yes, four...over the course of two days. four hours.
that leaves 6 hours left to hang out.
1 hour=shopping for crap that doesn't need to be purchased -today-
1.5 hours=Dr. Strangelove, and while I wanted to eventually see it, last night was not the night.
3 hours= State of the Union address and commentary
.5 hours=rubbing out the knot in his back.
Yes, that is how I spent my time with him. Other weeks, we spend that 6 hours mostly on shopping for crap that doesn't need to be purchased and other television ventures. I'm not saying that I demand that we go out: I'm saying that I wish I got at least as much attention as his cat...afterall, I'm not ruining his stuff.
Needless to say, as I walked toward the train this morning, he was left with no kiss nor sign of affection. My affection for him wanes a little every time I see him. He has absolutely no sense of adventure or play. I think he spend over an hour of his time on Tuesday fixing the resolution on the corner of his television, and there I was, thinking God, leave it alone! Can't you fix this on Thursday evening, when I'm not here?
Apparently, not. You know, I'm not looking for any kind of intense romance, or anything like that. If I had been after that, I wouldn't have started seeing him- he's the epitome of safety. But, I've found that what I prized (his stability) has now become the bane of my existance. How can I live with a man who will drive me to insanity because he's so obsessed with meaningless details- like deciding if he prefers the television brightness to be set at -11 or -12.
It's days like these when I think back to each of my ex's, and wonder what I'm doing with my life. How can I enjoy my life when I'm with a man who wants to further fall into the depths of boring details, all the while starting a family -right away-
I've tried to break this off twice, and twice he's thwarted me. Third time's a charm? Do I really want to fly back into the dating pool? I've seen it, and it's murky. He's everything but exciting- and do I really need to be excited?
...decisions, decisions
It's not that he's a bad person: I think the problem is that I'm a bitch. I suppose it just really really bothers me right down to my core that he hasn't learned the number one way to show that he cares: to spend time with me.
When I have Tuesday and Wednesday off (which is every week), I hop onto the public transportation system, and get to him at 11:30 on Tuesday. I have to leave at 11:30 on Thursday: this means, we have a total of 48 hours together.
20 hours= sleeping, because if he doesn't get 10 hours in, he can't function.
16 hours= working- and that's fine with me.
2 hours=his lunch break, but he watches tv
4 hours=his grooming time. yes, four...over the course of two days. four hours.
that leaves 6 hours left to hang out.
1 hour=shopping for crap that doesn't need to be purchased -today-
1.5 hours=Dr. Strangelove, and while I wanted to eventually see it, last night was not the night.
3 hours= State of the Union address and commentary
.5 hours=rubbing out the knot in his back.
Yes, that is how I spent my time with him. Other weeks, we spend that 6 hours mostly on shopping for crap that doesn't need to be purchased and other television ventures. I'm not saying that I demand that we go out: I'm saying that I wish I got at least as much attention as his cat...afterall, I'm not ruining his stuff.
Needless to say, as I walked toward the train this morning, he was left with no kiss nor sign of affection. My affection for him wanes a little every time I see him. He has absolutely no sense of adventure or play. I think he spend over an hour of his time on Tuesday fixing the resolution on the corner of his television, and there I was, thinking God, leave it alone! Can't you fix this on Thursday evening, when I'm not here?
Apparently, not. You know, I'm not looking for any kind of intense romance, or anything like that. If I had been after that, I wouldn't have started seeing him- he's the epitome of safety. But, I've found that what I prized (his stability) has now become the bane of my existance. How can I live with a man who will drive me to insanity because he's so obsessed with meaningless details- like deciding if he prefers the television brightness to be set at -11 or -12.
It's days like these when I think back to each of my ex's, and wonder what I'm doing with my life. How can I enjoy my life when I'm with a man who wants to further fall into the depths of boring details, all the while starting a family -right away-
I've tried to break this off twice, and twice he's thwarted me. Third time's a charm? Do I really want to fly back into the dating pool? I've seen it, and it's murky. He's everything but exciting- and do I really need to be excited?
...decisions, decisions
posted by iconoclastical at 3:18 PM
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