Happy Easter
Ahh...The end of a long day, or, if you're more technical about midnight, it's the beginning of another long day.
I generally like Workplace. I have reasonable managers, understanding and decent coworkers, and *surprise* mostly educated customers. If I play my cards right on a Saturday, I can walk away with $200 sitting in my pocket- and while that in now way compares to the $1000 that my stripper friend can expect...It's not too shabby and covers all of my favorite addictions- that being electricity and dinner.
But, there is one thing I have to say about Workplace, or really, any restaurant anywhere- they stay open for major holidays. I understand that there is a lot of money to be made. Today, I pulled off a $300 day- a double, mind you, but $300 nonetheless.
The problem? I packed in double the number of customers that I would normally see during both shifts. Let's run the numbers: on a decent Saturday, I can fully expect to see $200 *after* tipping out to the bartenders, the busboys, my assistant, the expediter, and for no reason at all, the hostess. That is 1 shift which is normally 5 hours, where I typically see 30 customers. I can roughly expect to see $6.50/customer in tips in a 5 hour shift.
During the dinner shift, I pulled off my average $200, but it should be noted, that I served 62 people: making my average about $3.50/customer in a 5 hour shift.
Now lunch numbers: during an average lunch shift, I can walk out with about $80, whereas today I walked out with $100 from that shift. In an average lunch, I work about 20 customers, making my average about $4/customer.
Today? I worked 50 customers and made $100, putting my average at $2/customer.
What's the difference? Christians out to lunch. I *seriously* had three tables not leave a tip, but rather put down a fucking leaflet for their motherfucking faux Jesus lover church and a smiley face on the tip line.
I understand what it's like to be poor and not have a lot of money. I understand what it's like to see the dollars trickling away to other people, but for the love of your precious savior, go to a fast food joint if you don't plan on tipping properly.
Yes, it's Easter weekend, and yes, you want to celebrate. But here's the thing: when you spend your entire two hour dining experience sneering at me and making me run around dodging your stupid brats only to leave me no money but the assurance that I was a great server...You make it entirely obvious that you are either a) completely ignorant or b) completely hypocritical. You know more about the specs on the latest line of luxury cars than you know about your savior. Fuck off.
JESUS DOES NOT PAY MY BILLS.
I understand that saving my immortal soul is more important than $20 in the long run, but I'm pretty sure that your happy ass is no closer to enlightenment than my stripper friend, you self-righteous hag.
I grew up loving Jesus...Or at least trying reallyfuckinghard. I know. You want me to find him. When I do, there will be rainbows and butterflies...Minus all the queer imagery because God hates fags.
Here's a hint: you bible-thumpers make him look bad, and I'm pretty sure that any righteous God would lump you in with the murderers for smearing his name. Fuck you.
This isn't even about money- it's about how much I loathe every motherfucking person who has ever said that I just need to come back to Jesus. I tried. It didn't work. We're not even on speaking terms anymore.
All that being said, it's time for the Easter compliment: Boyfriend is surprisingly familiar with many religious and philosophical texts, and is quite adept at arguing the idea of morality in the changing world.
I generally like Workplace. I have reasonable managers, understanding and decent coworkers, and *surprise* mostly educated customers. If I play my cards right on a Saturday, I can walk away with $200 sitting in my pocket- and while that in now way compares to the $1000 that my stripper friend can expect...It's not too shabby and covers all of my favorite addictions- that being electricity and dinner.
But, there is one thing I have to say about Workplace, or really, any restaurant anywhere- they stay open for major holidays. I understand that there is a lot of money to be made. Today, I pulled off a $300 day- a double, mind you, but $300 nonetheless.
The problem? I packed in double the number of customers that I would normally see during both shifts. Let's run the numbers: on a decent Saturday, I can fully expect to see $200 *after* tipping out to the bartenders, the busboys, my assistant, the expediter, and for no reason at all, the hostess. That is 1 shift which is normally 5 hours, where I typically see 30 customers. I can roughly expect to see $6.50/customer in tips in a 5 hour shift.
During the dinner shift, I pulled off my average $200, but it should be noted, that I served 62 people: making my average about $3.50/customer in a 5 hour shift.
Now lunch numbers: during an average lunch shift, I can walk out with about $80, whereas today I walked out with $100 from that shift. In an average lunch, I work about 20 customers, making my average about $4/customer.
Today? I worked 50 customers and made $100, putting my average at $2/customer.
What's the difference? Christians out to lunch. I *seriously* had three tables not leave a tip, but rather put down a fucking leaflet for their motherfucking faux Jesus lover church and a smiley face on the tip line.
I understand what it's like to be poor and not have a lot of money. I understand what it's like to see the dollars trickling away to other people, but for the love of your precious savior, go to a fast food joint if you don't plan on tipping properly.
Yes, it's Easter weekend, and yes, you want to celebrate. But here's the thing: when you spend your entire two hour dining experience sneering at me and making me run around dodging your stupid brats only to leave me no money but the assurance that I was a great server...You make it entirely obvious that you are either a) completely ignorant or b) completely hypocritical. You know more about the specs on the latest line of luxury cars than you know about your savior. Fuck off.
JESUS DOES NOT PAY MY BILLS.
I understand that saving my immortal soul is more important than $20 in the long run, but I'm pretty sure that your happy ass is no closer to enlightenment than my stripper friend, you self-righteous hag.
I grew up loving Jesus...Or at least trying reallyfuckinghard. I know. You want me to find him. When I do, there will be rainbows and butterflies...Minus all the queer imagery because God hates fags.
Here's a hint: you bible-thumpers make him look bad, and I'm pretty sure that any righteous God would lump you in with the murderers for smearing his name. Fuck you.
This isn't even about money- it's about how much I loathe every motherfucking person who has ever said that I just need to come back to Jesus. I tried. It didn't work. We're not even on speaking terms anymore.
All that being said, it's time for the Easter compliment: Boyfriend is surprisingly familiar with many religious and philosophical texts, and is quite adept at arguing the idea of morality in the changing world.
posted by iconoclastical at 12:28 AM
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